Losing a friend and we’re so far away


Our good friend Bob Pearsall passed on this week. We knew he was very sick but it was a huge shock to learn that he’d gone. I wish I could hug his wife, Susan, and be there for her. Comprehending the permanent loss of a friend is so difficult, and being on the other side of the world, makes it even harder.

Almost exactly a year ago, our niece, Sarah, also died while we were in India. And now we find ourselves again in the same predicament, unable to be with the family and the community. We’re stuck here and can’t participate. One of the downsides of traveling overseas.

Not forever does the bulbul sing
In balmy shades of bowers,
Not forever lasts the spring
Nor ever blossom flower.
Not forever reigneth joy
Sets the sun on days of bliss,
Friendships not forever last,
They know not life, who know not this.

from Train to Pakistan, Kushwant Singh



10 thoughts on “Losing a friend and we’re so far away

  1. Dear Roberta, I’m sorry to hear about your friend. This is in fact very difficult to process when so far away from everything. Knowing you you will keep him in your thoughts while practicing yoga which seems to be something he enjoyed as well, based on his photo. my thoughts are with you, Didi

    Diana Laird 21 Cumberland Street #4 Boston, MA 02115

    c: 1.207.318.3274 didilaird@gmail.com



    • Thanks for your note, Didi. Good to hear from you. Yes, I’m trying to do a little yoga at least each early morning on the beach, but nothing compared to back home! How’s your body aches? Better I hope. Miss you and my other friends at the Y.


  2. Bobbi, I sent you a message on Facebook yesterday . Let me know if you did not get it.I will send it again on your Email. Janet

    Sent from my iPad


  3. Dear Roberta and Gerard, I was so sorry to find your message a few minutes ago about the passing of your friend Bob. It must be agonizing to be so many miles away and to have had this kind of loss two years in a row. My thought is that, besides the fact that I’m sure his wife and the community feel you are with them in spirit now, your physical presence will be especially welcome when you return. When I have had a loss, I’ve found that I feel it most profoundly in the months afterwards and support then is as important, or more so, than at the time of the loss. We had some snow last evening and into the night. I don’t think it was to be more than a few inches but I hear someone out there shoveling already. I’m about to go make my coffee so will look out the window. Having my coffee alone every morning makes me sad because Ralph and I in recent years spent a lot of time with our coffee routine:talking, reading, sipping, starting the day. Sara & Constance and I are supposed to have coffee later this morning. Again, my condolences on your loss. Fondly, Vicki

    Sent from Huawei Mobile

    A Small Case Across India wrote:

    > a:hover { color: red; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #0088cc; } a.primaryactionlink:link, a.primaryactionlink:visited { background-color: #2585B2; color: #fff; } a.primaryactionlink:hover, a.primaryactionlink:active { background-color: #11729E !important; color: #fff !important; } /* @media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { .post { min-width: 700px !important; } } */ WordPress.com rwiggins posted: ” Our good friend Bob Pearsall passed on this week. We knew he was very sick but it was a huge shock to learn that he’d gone. I wish I could hug his wife, Susan, and be there for her. Comprehending the permanent loss of a friend is so difficult, and being”


  4. Dear Bobbie and Gerard

    Very sorry to hear of the loss of your friend Bob .

    Best wishes at this time


    Sent from my Windows Phone ________________________________


  5. Hi Bobbi and Gerard
    I understand how you feel as I’ve often been away too for such events. Luckily this time I was able to get to NH to see Bob a few days before he passed and to also be with him, along with his family and Tbor and Tom McGurrin as he left his body last Saturday morning. It was extremely peaceful and he appeared to leave like a hair out of butter. Nonetheless he has left a big hole in our lives and will be sorely missed.
    Thanks for sharing the lovely poem.
    Much love


  6. Dear Bobbi and Gerard, At our satsang this past Sunday in Watertown, MA., Andy Prokopis announced the passing of Bob Pearsall, and after the meeting, Diane told me that Bob had been ill for quite some time – first with cancer (which apparently was in remission) and then with injuries which he sustained in a fall. I did not know Bob very well, but I was in at least one group to Sant Ji’s ashram in Rajasthan which included him and his wife. My memory is that of a very positive, generous man who always had a ready smile and a word of encouragement for everyone. His departure prompts me to think, too, that we have now reached an age at which such losses will become increasingly common. Bob’s wife, Susan, will be aware of your kind thoughts and your feelings of sympathy for her at the time of this loss. The words of the poet Kushwant Singh which you quoted in your e-mail are very moving, but let me say, too, that I believe that there is a good chance that we will see departed friends again. Several times when I was with Sant Ji in his ashram in India, especially at PS 16, I definitely felt the presence of some of our fellow initiates who had departed, and on one occasion I also felt the presence of a departed childhood friend who came, sat in the back of the group with me, and said, “What is this that you are involved in? It is fascinating!” I don’t know if I should mention such things, but if ever there were a time to do so, this is it. You should know that the satsang is going very well. We have eight to ten people each Sunday, and Andy Prokopis has a very nice, spacious professional office space in Watertown Square. There is plenty of free parking, and everyone seems to be able to get there with no difficulties. In the meantime the country is pretty much in an uproar regarding very strange actions being taken by “President” Trump regarding limiting immigrants and refugees from certain Moslem countries and building his absurd proposed wall at the Mexican border. I would be fascinated by the reactions of the people of India to these events. Enjoy the rest of your journey, and I will look forward to seeing you in April. With all love and best wishes, – Richard N. Shulik



    • The Indians don’t know what to make of Trump or his policies, but the Kashmiris have definitely taken offense. thanks for the update and very interesting story about the childhood friend. Stay well. B&G


  7. That’s beautiful, Bobby. I thought of you and Gerard right away, and how you were in India last year when Sarah passed. How sad to be so far away again. But your warmth and love will transcend the distance and you will be with Susan.

    Love you both,


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